12 December 2016 | Kaunas, Lithuania [tedNEWS] When Bertold Hibner, President of the Lithuanian Conference, asked his team of pastors and Bible workers what they needed to help them be more effective leaders, he discovered an unexpected answer. “We need to learn more about helping our church members with their challenges and pain, and how to manage our own hurts better, too.”
As a result, Karen Holford, TED family ministries director and qualified family therapist, travelled to Kaunas to provide two days of relational care training from 29-30 November for about 20 pastors, Bible workers and church leaders.
Together they explored the problem of human aloneness, by reflecting on the story of The Good Samaritan. They learned how to help people feel less alone by listening out for their relational needs, and responding to them with warmth. Relational needs are our human longings for compassion, comfort, encouragement, respect, support, affection, acceptance, attention, appreciation, approval, and security. The group also learned how to build healthy relationships using the Romans 12:15 guidelines of celebrating with those who are happy, and being sad with those who are sad.
The training included other topics, such as balancing your emotions and helping other people to balance theirs; creative ways to manage conflicts; and simple skills to help pastors and carers manage difficult conversations and relationships when supporting people in painful and challenging situations.
“Each time someone comes to church, or talks to us, they need to know that God loves them and that another human being cares for them too,” says Karen. “I am delighted that the Lithuanian Conference is so eager to minister to hurting people. They are in our own homes, our own churches, and our own communities. God calls us to be filled with His love and compassion for all who are hurting so that we can be channels of His care and concern.”
Karen demonstrated that the best place to learn effective ways to care for others is in our homes, making sure that those closest to us feel loved and cared for by God and us. “Only then,” she said, “can we show effective compassion to others.”
The responses were positive: “At last I have some better ideas how to help people!” “I feel more hopeful now – I think I can do some of these things and they’ll make a big difference.” “I am wondering how to make our church famous for being kind!”
Karen will return to Lithuania in April for a follow-up training session. This will help the team reflect on the practical difference the training has made to their ministry, and to grow their skills further. [tedNEWS]
tedNEWS Staff: Victor Hulbert, director; Esti Pujic, editor
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