{"id":25828,"date":"2026-06-12T13:00:53","date_gmt":"2026-06-12T13:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/?p=25828"},"modified":"2026-06-14T10:10:21","modified_gmt":"2026-06-14T10:10:21","slug":"building-carer-friendly-communities","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/building-carer-friendly-communities\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Carer-Friendly Communities"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>1 June 2026 | Grantham, UK [Sophia Nicholls with <em>tedNEWS<\/em>]<\/p>\n<p>On 21 May 1996, my life took a direction that has shaped the past 30 years.<\/p>\n<p>Becoming a carer was not something I had anticipated. I doubt it is on the radar of any of the millions of people across Europe who become one until the moment everything changes, and they find themselves navigating a world they never expected to enter.<\/p>\n<p>My son Matthew was born with Peter\u2019s Anomaly, a rare condition affecting the front of the eye. He is blind. He has severe learning disabilities and autism. He communicates in ways profoundly different from most people. He requires round-the-clock care and support.<\/p>\n<p>The world I entered as his mother was marked by anxiety and surrounded by people who often offered pity rather than understanding. Above all, it was lonely.<\/p>\n<p>That loneliness, both inside and outside the church, is the experience I want to address during the National Carers Week, which runs in the UK from 8\u201314 June 2026.<\/p>\n<p>Are the carers in your church community thriving? Do you know who they are? These are more than rhetorical questions. During the National Carers Week, they may be among the most important questions we can ask.<\/p>\n<h2>What Is a Carer?<\/h2>\n<p>A carer is anyone, including children and young people known as young carers, who looks after a family member, partner or friend who needs support because of illness, frailty, disability, mental health challenges or addiction, and who cannot cope without that help. The care they provide is unpaid, often unrecognised and frequently invisible.<\/p>\n<p>The scale across Europe is remarkable, and it is present in every one of our congregations across the 22 countries of the Trans-European Division (TED).<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>45% of the EU population currently provides some form of unpaid care, nearly half of all adults across our territory (Eurofound, 2025).<\/li>\n<li>80% of long-term care in Europe is provided by unpaid family carers, rather than professional services (Eurocarers).<\/li>\n<li>One in ten European adults is simultaneously managing multiple caring responsibilities (Eurofound, 2025).<\/li>\n<li>Those providing more than 20 hours of unpaid care per week are 96% more likely to report poor mental health than those without caring responsibilities (UCL\/Carers Trust Eurocare Study, 2024).<\/li>\n<li>The economic value of unpaid informal care is estimated at 2.4% of EU GDP, exceeding government expenditure on formal long-term care (Eurocarers).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These figures show that carers are sitting in our pews every Sabbath across Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, the Netherlands, Poland, Hungary, the Adriatic countries, the United Kingdom and every other nation within our territory. They are the parent who arrives late and leaves early. They are the spouse sitting alone. They are the young person carrying responsibilities beyond their years.<\/p>\n<p>They are already present. The question is whether they feel seen.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_25849\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-25849\" style=\"width: 630px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-25849 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/1_Building-Carer-Friendly-Communities.jpg\" alt=\"A field of tulips in Holland\" width=\"630\" height=\"354\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/1_Building-Carer-Friendly-Communities.jpg 630w, https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/1_Building-Carer-Friendly-Communities-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/1_Building-Carer-Friendly-Communities-500x280.jpg 500w, https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/1_Building-Carer-Friendly-Communities-350x197.jpg 350w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 630px) 100vw, 630px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-25849\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">A field of tulips in the Netherlands illustrates the \u201cWelcome to Holland\u201d metaphor, often used to describe the unexpected journey many carers experience when life takes a different direction from the one they had imagined<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2>Welcome to Holland<\/h2>\n<p>When Matthew was first diagnosed, someone introduced me to Emily Perl Kingsley\u2019s well-known reflection, <em>Welcome to Holland<\/em>. Over the years, I have returned to its central message many times because it captures something of the unexpected reality many carers experience.<\/p>\n<p>The metaphor describes preparing for one destination in life, only to discover that circumstances have taken you somewhere entirely different. The place is unfamiliar. The plans are different. The future looks nothing like the one you expected. Yet, over time, you begin to discover beauty and meaning in that new landscape.<\/p>\n<p>Across every country in the TED, regardless of language or culture, carers often find themselves living that reality. They grieve the future they expected, navigate unfamiliar challenges and desperately need a community willing to walk alongside them.<\/p>\n<h2>The Five A&#8217;s to Acceptance: Understanding a Carer\u2019s Journey<\/h2>\n<p>Through my own experience, and more than 20 years supporting carers through the Adventist Special Needs Association (ASNA), I developed a framework called the Five As. It describes a journey many carers travel from the initial shock of diagnosis towards acceptance and, ultimately, advocacy. Importantly, this journey is not linear. Carers move back and forth between stages. A health crisis, a transition, inadequate support or even church hurt can quickly return someone to an earlier stage.<\/p>\n<p>European demographic data shows that caring responsibilities peak among adults aged 35 to 44, with 57% of this age group providing some form of unpaid care (Eurofound, 2025). These are often people at the height of their professional, family and church responsibilities, caring without significant recognition from the wider community.<\/p>\n<p>Understanding where someone may be in this journey is one of the most important things a pastor, elder or church leader can do.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stage 1: Anger<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Vulnerability. Loss of control. Shock. Denial. Shame. Guilt. A sense of being trapped.<\/p>\n<p>Carers in this stage may understand that they cannot change the situation, yet still feel overwhelmed by it. Grief and denial are often intertwined with these emotions.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.\u201d (1 Peter 5:7)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stage 2: Anxiety<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is often the longest stage and the easiest one to revisit.<\/p>\n<p>Health concerns, depression, isolation, exclusion, fear of the future, sleepless nights, hospital appointments and loss of control can dominate daily life. Carers may withdraw from others or push away offers of support.<\/p>\n<p>Research consistently links intensive caring responsibilities with increased depression and social isolation across Europe.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCast your burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain you.\u201d (Psalm 55:22)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stage 3: Awareness<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The carer begins to seek information, understand their circumstances and connect with others.<\/p>\n<p>This is the stage where the message, \u201cYou are not alone\u201d, begins to matter. Peer support, research and trusted relationships become increasingly important.<\/p>\n<p>The church has a unique opportunity here. It can become the place where awareness begins and community develops.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWho comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble.\u201d (1 Corinthians 1:4)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stage 4: Acknowledgement<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Life is recognised as both challenging and meaningful.<\/p>\n<p>The carer begins to access support, build networks and accept help. Challenges remain, but solutions begin to emerge. The future may look different from what was originally imagined, but it is still a future worth embracing.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCarry each other\u2019s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.\u201d (Galatians 6:2)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stage 5: Acceptance<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The carer develops confidence, shares experience with others and often becomes an advocate.<\/p>\n<p>This is not resignation. It is active, courageous and hard-won acceptance. People in this stage often become invaluable resources within the church because they are able to support others facing similar journeys.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.\u201d (2 Corinthians 1:4)<\/p>\n<p>Understanding this journey is not simply a psychological exercise. It is pastoral intelligence.<\/p>\n<p>Churches that recognise where carers are in this journey, and respond with thoughtful, practical support rather than generic encouragement, can make a profound and lasting difference.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_25851\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-25851\" style=\"width: 630px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-25851 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/3_Building-Carer-Friendly-Communities.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"630\" height=\"354\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/3_Building-Carer-Friendly-Communities.jpg 630w, https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/3_Building-Carer-Friendly-Communities-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/3_Building-Carer-Friendly-Communities-500x280.jpg 500w, https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/3_Building-Carer-Friendly-Communities-350x197.jpg 350w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 630px) 100vw, 630px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-25851\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Across Europe, millions of family members provide practical, emotional and relational support to loved ones every day, often without recognition<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2>What Carers Experience in the Church<\/h2>\n<p>A survey of carers within Adventist communities revealed both the extraordinary impact of supportive churches and the deep hurt caused when support is absent.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI believe I have found myself in a very fortunate position, where my church has a very strong disability team. They offered emotional and spiritual support. The church as a whole is very accepting and welcomes my son openly, enabling me to enjoy church without fear of judgement.\u201d \u2014 Parent carer<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNothing has gone well with the church in terms of support. Since I have been at home with him, there has been no official visit from leadership. Only a few people call.\u201d \u2014 Parent carer<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThings can only be done better if there was love in the church for each other. The church is operating in silos. If you\u2019re not in one of these groups, then you don\u2019t matter. Church could look into the emotional and mental health of its members, especially carers, as a matter of urgency. Be more proactive rather than reactive. Take time to check in on carers.\u201d \u2014 Carer survey respondent<\/p>\n<p>The contrast between these experiences is striking. The difference between a carer who flourishes and one who quietly disappears from church life is often not a programme, budget or committee. It is the decision of one person to notice, reach out and remain present.<\/p>\n<h2>How Can Our Sabbath Communities Become Carer-Friendly?<\/h2>\n<p>The theme of the National Carers Week 2026 is Building Carer-Friendly Communities, places where unpaid carers and their families can thrive. Across our division, from Iceland to Cyprus and from Ireland to Poland, there are practical steps we can take.<\/p>\n<p><strong>For Union, Conference and Mission Leaders<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Establish dedicated Carers and Disability Ministries with clear accountability and resources.<\/li>\n<li>Commission research into the experiences of carers within Adventist communities.<\/li>\n<li>Include disability awareness and carer support within ministerial training and pastoral development programmes.<\/li>\n<li>Recognise and celebrate churches that demonstrate exemplary support for carers.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>For Pastors, Elders and Local Church Leaders<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Conduct a simple annual audit to identify unpaid carers within your congregation.<\/li>\n<li>Appoint a designated elder, deacon or ministry leader to support carers.<\/li>\n<li>Establish a commitment to contact regular attendees who are absent for more than two Sabbaths.<\/li>\n<li>Develop practical support systems such as respite assistance, meal rotas or transport help.<\/li>\n<li>Ensure church environments are accessible for people with a range of disabilities and support needs.<\/li>\n<li>Preach and teach about the theology of caring, making carers visible and valued within congregational life.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>For Every Church Member<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Learn who the carers are within your congregation.<\/li>\n<li>Ask how they are and genuinely listen to the answer.<\/li>\n<li>Offer practical and specific support.<\/li>\n<li>Spend time with them.<\/li>\n<li>Remember that young carers are also present within our churches and often carry significant emotional burdens.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Across the Adventist Church, there are congregations that have demonstrated what genuine inclusion and support can look like. In <a href=\"https:\/\/adventistreview.org\/magazine-article\/my-kind-of-church\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>My Kind of Church<\/em><\/a>, Larry Evans describes members who found encouragement, purpose and belonging because a church chose to see the person before the disability and walk alongside them with compassion and respect.<\/p>\n<p>His stories show what becomes possible when a congregation intentionally creates a culture of belonging. They remind us that churches can become places of healing rather than isolation.<\/p>\n<h2>What Love Looks Like<\/h2>\n<p>Across the TED \u2014 whatever the language, whatever the culture \u2014 love looks the same. The following words, written by an unknown author in the style of the Beatitudes, describe what Christlike love looks and feels like to a carer when the church takes time to support them and the person they care for from the inside. The context reflects the community\u2019s response to the person cared for. The person who navigates the world in diverse ways. The love shown to the cared for brings joy and respite to the carer.<\/p>\n<p>Read them slowly. Let them be a mirror for your community.<\/p>\n<p><em>Blessed are you who take time to listen to difficult speech, for you help us to know that if we persevere we can be understood.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Blessed are you who walk with us in public places and ignore the stares of strangers, for in your companionship we find havens of relaxation.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Blessed are you who never bid us to &#8216;hurry up&#8217;, and more blessed are you who do not snatch our task from our hands to do it for us \u2014 for often we need time rather than help.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Blessed are you who ask for our help, for our greatest need is to be needed.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Blessed are you when, by all ways, you assure us that the things that make us individuals are not our peculiar muscles, nor our wounded nervous systems, nor our difficulties in learning \u2014 but the God-given self which no infirmity can confine.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This National Carers Week, I invite every church leader, every church member and every congregation to ask a simple question: Who are the carers among us, and how can we help them thrive?<\/p>\n<p>When we answer that question well, we do more than support carers. We become a more faithful reflection of the compassionate community Christ calls His church to be.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><em>[Photos: Chris_Willemsen, demopicture &amp; nd3000 \/ Envato]<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Seeing the unseen burdens carried by many<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":25850,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1192,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25828","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commentary","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25828","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25828"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25828\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25862,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25828\/revisions\/25862"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/25850"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25828"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25828"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25828"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}