{"id":15246,"date":"2023-07-12T09:00:45","date_gmt":"2023-07-12T09:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/?p=15246"},"modified":"2023-07-13T06:57:35","modified_gmt":"2023-07-13T06:57:35","slug":"unerstanding-infidelity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/unerstanding-infidelity\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding Infidelity"},"content":{"rendered":"

12 July 2023 |\u00a0Friedensau Adventist University, Germany [tedNEWS]<\/p>\n

In April, sixty leaders of Family Ministries from the Trans-European (TED) and Inter-European (EUD) Divisions gathered at Friedensau Adventist University in Germany to explore a biblical view of sexuality<\/a>. Numerous readers of tedNEWS expressed their desire for further details on the workshops conducted during the event, as well as the resources that were made accessible. Below is an overview of some of \u00a0one of the workshops presented.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dr Mihalec G\u00e1bor conducted a workshop on understanding infidelity, acknowledging that it occurs more frequently than we would like to admit. Statistics estimate that 30-50% of men and 10-40% of women will engage in infidelity at least once during their lifetime. When families are torn apart and hearts are broken, congregations often struggle to know how to respond.<\/p>\n

\"Dr<\/a>
“Healing and restoration” says Dr Mihalec G\u00e1bor, “begins with understanding, which enables individuals to align their lives with God’s moral standards.”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

G\u00e1bor observed that the initial instinct is often to quickly assign blame to \u2018resolve\u2019 the issue. However, he emphasised that passing judgment is not the most supportive approach for a struggling couple. Drawing from his therapeutic work with over 400 couples who faced infidelity, G\u00e1bor emphasized the importance of understanding as the key to healing.<\/p>\n

Understanding doesn’t mean justifying destructive behaviour, but rather \u201cdelving into the relationship dynamics and personal factors that made the marriage susceptible to infidelity,\u201d said G\u00e1bor.<\/p>\n

To illustrate this perspective, G\u00e1bor explored the biblical story of David and Bathsheba (2 Sam. 11). By examining David’s early childhood experiences, issues of self-esteem, attachment, and betrayal, G\u00e1bor revealed the complexity of David’s character. Instead of viewing David solely as a manipulative sexual predator or an abusive king, G\u00e1bor urged a multidimensional perspective that recognizes the \u201cwounded child within.\u201d<\/p>\n

G\u00e1bor clarified that understanding does not excuse sin or harmful behaviour. While acknowledging the impact and consequences of poor choices, the goal is to \u201ccreate a safe space within the church for sinners who genuinely seek change.”\u00a0Rather than labelling individuals as \u2018perpetrators\u2019 or \u2018victims\u2019, the Church needs to be an environment where \u201cpersonal growth and responsibility are fostered.”\u00a0Healing and restoration begin with understanding, which enables individuals to align their lives with God’s moral standards.<\/p>\n

\n

Rather than labelling individuals as \u2018perpetrators\u2019 or \u2018victims\u2019, foster personal growth and responsibility.<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Fostering an environment of change, rather than blame, is key to helping families and protecting homes. \u201cBy providing meaningful support to individuals in their personal growth journey the church can contribute to their transformation and readiness to take responsibility for their actions,\u201d G\u00e1bor concluded.<\/p>\n

\n

Residing in Hungary, Dr Mihalec G\u00e1bor wears multiple hats as a pastor, couples therapist, and part-time Family Ministries director for the Hungarian Union<\/span>.<\/span> He has dedicated his research efforts to the field of marriage enrichment and couple resilience. He is the author of No More Games: How to Build a Faithful and Satisfying Relationship<\/a>.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

[Photos: Vanesa Pizzuto].<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Understanding doesn’t mean justifying destructive behaviour.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":15273,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1573,7],"tags":[1486,110,412,433,143,1488,287,1487,1489,1436],"class_list":["post-15246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-relationships","category-news","tag-addiction","tag-bible","tag-conference","tag-education","tag-germany","tag-infidelity","tag-news","tag-porn","tag-safe","tag-sex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15246"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15246\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15515,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15246\/revisions\/15515"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15273"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ted.adventist.org\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}